Thanks for Waiting: The Joy (and Weirdness) of Being a Late Bloomer
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- Create Date：2021-09-21 14:16:14
- Update Date：2025-09-23
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- Author：Doree Shafrir
- ISBN：0593156749
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Summary
An honest， witty， and insightful memoir about what happens when your coming-of-age comes later than expected
“Thanks for Waiting is the loving， wise， cuttingly funny older sister we all need in book form。”—Tara Schuster， author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
Doree Shafrir spent much of her twenties and thirties feeling out of sync with her peers。 She was an intern at twenty-nine and met her husband on Tinder in her late thirties， after many of her friends had already gotten married， started families， and entered couples’ counseling。 After a long fertility struggle， she became a first-time mom at forty-one， joining Mommy & Me classes where most of the other moms were at least ten years younger。 And while she was one of Gawker’s early hires and one of the first editors at BuzzFeed， she didn’t find professional fulfillment until she co-launched the successful self-care podcast Forever35—at forty。
Now， in her debut memoir， Shafrir explores the enormous pressures we feel， especially as women， to hit particular milestones at certain times and how we can redefine what it means to be a late bloomer。 She writes about everything from dating to infertility， to how friendships evolve as you get older， to why being pregnant at forty-one is unexpectedly freeing—all with the goal of appreciating the lives we’ve lived so far and the lives we still hope to live。
Thanks for Waiting is about how achieving the milestones you thought were so important don’t always happen on the time line you imagined。 In a world of 30 Under 30 lists， this book is a welcome reminder that it’s okay to live life at your own speed。
“Thanks for Waiting is the loving， wise， cuttingly funny older sister we all need in book form。”—Tara Schuster， author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
Doree Shafrir spent much of her twenties and thirties feeling out of sync with her peers。 She was an intern at twenty-nine and met her husband on Tinder in her late thirties， after many of her friends had already gotten married， started families， and entered couples’ counseling。 After a long fertility struggle， she became a first-time mom at forty-one， joining Mommy & Me classes where most of the other moms were at least ten years younger。 And while she was one of Gawker’s early hires and one of the first editors at BuzzFeed， she didn’t find professional fulfillment until she co-launched the successful self-care podcast Forever35—at forty。
Now， in her debut memoir， Shafrir explores the enormous pressures we feel， especially as women， to hit particular milestones at certain times and how we can redefine what it means to be a late bloomer。 She writes about everything from dating to infertility， to how friendships evolve as you get older， to why being pregnant at forty-one is unexpectedly freeing—all with the goal of appreciating the lives we’ve lived so far and the lives we still hope to live。
Thanks for Waiting is about how achieving the milestones you thought were so important don’t always happen on the time line you imagined。 In a world of 30 Under 30 lists， this book is a welcome reminder that it’s okay to live life at your own speed。
Reviews
Maya
，
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 I agree with other reviews that the title of this book feels off from what the book actually contains。 This book also led me to conclude that I don't like the idea of a "late bloomer" in general， and especially in the context of how it's used here。 Basically， the idea that everyone on a particular path， doing things at a particular time are "doing life right" somehow and everyone else is。。。 not， and is therefore "different。" But there are SO many people who don't follow "conventional" life paths I agree with other reviews that the title of this book feels off from what the book actually contains。 This book also led me to conclude that I don't like the idea of a "late bloomer" in general， and especially in the context of how it's used here。 Basically， the idea that everyone on a particular path， doing things at a particular time are "doing life right" somehow and everyone else is。。。 not， and is therefore "different。" But there are SO many people who don't follow "conventional" life paths。 The concept is just so problematic and it messes with people's psyche。 Why not explore that more？ The idea that she wasn't on a path she seemed to perceive as "correct" led to a lot of issues in her life and within herself。 It would have been so interesting if this book wrestled more deeply with how problematic the concept of the "late bloomer" is in our society， and consequently in her own life！ Also， this is a personal preference thing， but I don't enjoy reading about other people's difficulties with new babies and new-motherhood。 I think it's triggering for me， even 10 years since having my last baby。 It also seemed weirdly off topic to have this whole section about what it was like to be pregnant， have a c-section， struggle to nurse， etc。 since it didn't have anything to do with late-bloomer-ism。 。。。more
Hannah
，
"。。。more of your friends will be married， own homes， and have kids。 So for those of us who don't hit that trifecta， what then？" This was the line that drew me in。 I was eagerly captivated， but the story I waited for wasn't the one I received （an apt metaphor for life）。 If the joys of late blooming were really emphasized， I don't recall them。 I particularly would have liked to hear more about being a parent at 41 and how Doree connects with other parents--especially when some of her child's frien "。。。more of your friends will be married， own homes， and have kids。 So for those of us who don't hit that trifecta， what then？" This was the line that drew me in。 I was eagerly captivated， but the story I waited for wasn't the one I received （an apt metaphor for life）。 If the joys of late blooming were really emphasized， I don't recall them。 I particularly would have liked to hear more about being a parent at 41 and how Doree connects with other parents--especially when some of her child's friend's parents could be 20 years younger。 The scene that sticks with me the most is talking to her fairly unaffected boyfriend when a younger sibling became engaged。 Losing her dog was also rough。 I think I cried remembering the loss of ours in 2018。 I believe this is really the first book I've read discussing IVF， and it is painful and agonizing physically， emotionally， and financially。 Read by the author。 She has a nice reading voice。 。。。more
Nora
，
If I am going to give my honest opinion， I did not like this book。 I appreciate Shafrir sharing her story， but I could not connect with her writing。 This book is Shafrir's memoir in which she describes having achieved certain traditional milestones （jobs， serious relationships， having a family， etc） later than the cultural norm。 Despite her vulnerability， I could not shake the feeling that her writing seemed very gimmicky to me。 It seemed like she included buzzwords to attract particular audienc If I am going to give my honest opinion， I did not like this book。 I appreciate Shafrir sharing her story， but I could not connect with her writing。 This book is Shafrir's memoir in which she describes having achieved certain traditional milestones （jobs， serious relationships， having a family， etc） later than the cultural norm。 Despite her vulnerability， I could not shake the feeling that her writing seemed very gimmicky to me。 It seemed like she included buzzwords to attract particular audiences or connect with readers， but it felt forced。 In particular， she would call out the patriarchy randomly while she spent （what felt like） the whole book detailing her sexual encounters and dating escapades。 Reading this book was like watching a mind-numbing reality TV show that you aren't particularly enjoying but you also just want to know how it ends。 I did appreciate her sharing her struggles to get pregnant。 I am sure others may have benefited from her divulging information about that process。 。。。more
Jessica
，
I love Doree。 I am a huge fan of Forever 35 and I love her personality and advice and stories。 Most of this book was really interesting- her spending her 20s in NYC。 Stories of dating， going to therapy， sharing the practical lessons she’d learned in life， all good。 I also loved her first novel！ The parts about IVF seemed to go on forever though。 Maybe it’s because I don’t have interest in the topic， and maybe I’m not the right audience for this book， but that didn’t really seem to jive with the I love Doree。 I am a huge fan of Forever 35 and I love her personality and advice and stories。 Most of this book was really interesting- her spending her 20s in NYC。 Stories of dating， going to therapy， sharing the practical lessons she’d learned in life， all good。 I also loved her first novel！ The parts about IVF seemed to go on forever though。 Maybe it’s because I don’t have interest in the topic， and maybe I’m not the right audience for this book， but that didn’t really seem to jive with the theme of “late bloomer” to me。 [Side note: she had her first kiss at 13- that doesn’t seem like a late bloomer to me。] The IVF and newborn stages of the book were just things I couldn’t relate to， but they also seemed less “late bloomer” and more disorganized。 Like she mentions not realizing how hard it would be to live in LA with a newborn when both sides of the family lived far away- that seems like something she could have observed other people going through an anticipated the difficulty of in advance。 Also， I was curious why someone who wanted a baby so badly would go into debt doing IVF and experience physical and emotional trauma over and over again without even considering something like adoption- I realize this is an incredibly judgy thing to say， but she’s the one who wrote a whole book about her life- she could have at least mentioned this in passing！ 。。。more
Jana
，
I used to listen to Forever35 and I have enjoyed Shafrir's work in other places， but this didn't work for me。 I thought I'd find a lot to identify with as someone who got married and had a baby later than my peers。 Instead of being empowering and feminist， the message was that a man and a baby will complete you。 I used to listen to Forever35 and I have enjoyed Shafrir's work in other places， but this didn't work for me。 I thought I'd find a lot to identify with as someone who got married and had a baby later than my peers。 Instead of being empowering and feminist， the message was that a man and a baby will complete you。 。。。more
Autumn Kovach
，
I really enjoyed hearing about Doree's experience of working in New York。 Her years of freelancing and struggle to find her place while other people seem to be solidifying their timelines with secure jobs and relationships was so relatable。 The first half of the book I resinated a lot to and the second half was fascinating to hear about her fertility struggles once she got married at 35。 I think this is a great read for women who delay relationships and kids， not always by choice but who may fin I really enjoyed hearing about Doree's experience of working in New York。 Her years of freelancing and struggle to find her place while other people seem to be solidifying their timelines with secure jobs and relationships was so relatable。 The first half of the book I resinated a lot to and the second half was fascinating to hear about her fertility struggles once she got married at 35。 I think this is a great read for women who delay relationships and kids， not always by choice but who may find themselves in this situation that's becoming increasingly common in today's society。 。。。more
Kristen
，
3。75。 I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir， and it was an easy （but enlightening） read。 Doree details in three parts her struggles with feeling like she was a “late bloomer” in all parts of her life， from childhood to her career to dating and having kids。 I definitely enjoyed it mostly because I listen to her podcast and feel like I “know” her， but it was a nice and honest read。
Liz
，
An important reminder that there is no correct path to life。
Maija
，
I’ve been listening to the Forever 35 podcast since it began， and it’s been a special comfort during the pandemic。 So， I enjoyed hearing more of Doree’s story in this book and definitely related to some of the earlier parts of feeling like I’m not always at the same milestones as my peers or even wanting the same things。 I think we were born the same year， too， so her references are always spot on for me。
AF122
，
2。5- I enjoy the podcast， but this left me wanting more。 The stories move too fast without enough reflection on the significance to her life and growth。
Sarah
，
I kept waiting for this book to be about something other than straight people dating。 🤷♀️ This book was too hetero for me and the author was not a late bloomer in her career at all which annoyed me to no end。
Danielle
，
A breezy read that made me feel understood and relieved。 I enjoyed Doree's talkative writing style， but it also lacked depth at times and I wish it had ended less abruptly。 Overall， nothing ground breaking here， but if you need to sit on the couch and talk to a friend， this book does the job。 A breezy read that made me feel understood and relieved。 I enjoyed Doree's talkative writing style， but it also lacked depth at times and I wish it had ended less abruptly。 Overall， nothing ground breaking here， but if you need to sit on the couch and talk to a friend， this book does the job。 。。。more
Naomi Adland
，
Really appreciated the first half of this。 The back half was a little less relatable for me and felt a little slower， particularly as it gets really into Doree's IVF journey， but I get why the story moves in that direction。 Really appreciated the first half of this。 The back half was a little less relatable for me and felt a little slower， particularly as it gets really into Doree's IVF journey， but I get why the story moves in that direction。 。。。more
Lindsay Roth
，
I stumbled upon this book by way of an episode of the “Death， Sex and Money” podcast hosted by Anna Sale。 Shafrir was discussing specifically the experience she and her husband had with conceiving their son through IVF。 I found her candor and honesty refreshing and their discussion interesting， especially as a person who was exploring fertility options at that same time。 So， I downloaded the audiobook and read it in two days。 Overall， I enjoyed the book。 A lot。 However speaking strictly about th I stumbled upon this book by way of an episode of the “Death， Sex and Money” podcast hosted by Anna Sale。 Shafrir was discussing specifically the experience she and her husband had with conceiving their son through IVF。 I found her candor and honesty refreshing and their discussion interesting， especially as a person who was exploring fertility options at that same time。 So， I downloaded the audiobook and read it in two days。 Overall， I enjoyed the book。 A lot。 However speaking strictly about the audiobook， Shafrir voices the audio version and at times the inflection of certain parts of the book （lots of “and I said ‘yea’”and “they said ‘xyz’” in a awkward， flat tone） are distracting。 In addition， as other reviews have indicated， Shafrir talks at length about her infertility journey and sort of culminates all of her late bloomer moments to this one point in her life。 Fair。 I get where she’s coming from having the same， （bisexual but still kinda） heteronormative perspective。 For that reason and the amount of the book focused on infertility I think it’s best suited for those looking for candor and raw accounts of the TTC process。 And to inject （pun intended） a little humor into the （at times） frustrating and emotionally and physically laborious process of trying to conceive。 I enjoyed it for that very reason。 We just don’t talk about this shit enough and the book left me feeling way more mentally prepared to seek fertility help than any other text I’ve read so far。 。。。more
Charlotte
，
So much of her later pregnancy， birth， and first days stories were so good for me to read。
Taylor
，
As a fan of Doree's Forever 35 podcast and Startup， I wanted to like this。 But it's overly long， prone to performative digressions about feminism， racism， and capitalism （I agree with her on all of it， but she frequently breaks to preach）， and chatty to the point of being boring。 The familiarity works on the podcast， but it doesn't feel the same on the page。 It's also strange she skips over her upbringing and career in academia， as if her life starts at 28 in media。 I did appreciate her vulnerab As a fan of Doree's Forever 35 podcast and Startup， I wanted to like this。 But it's overly long， prone to performative digressions about feminism， racism， and capitalism （I agree with her on all of it， but she frequently breaks to preach）， and chatty to the point of being boring。 The familiarity works on the podcast， but it doesn't feel the same on the page。 It's also strange she skips over her upbringing and career in academia， as if her life starts at 28 in media。 I did appreciate her vulnerability in writing about her struggles with IVF and pregnancy。 。。。more
Becca
，
I was really excited to read this book when I heard the premise。 However， DS’s take on ‘late bloomer’ was almost offensive; she projects expectations of femininity and heteronormativity that she supposedly rejects onto herself。 It was depressing。
Hannah Pearson
，
I was super on board for the first half of this book- I enjoyed learning more about the author’s nontraditional career path。 However， she lost me a bit during her lengthy discussion of infertility （which I realize may resonate differently with different readers） and the focus on heteronormative dating culture。 There were also some fat-phobic-esque comments made throughout the memoir， which， while I don’t think were intentional， were surprising and disappointing。
Brianna Westervelt
，
Hope for this 28-year-old singleton。
Tara
，
This book is aimed at a very niche group -- women privileged enough to think that they should have accomplished so much more （socially and professionally） than they have and wondering why they haven't quite "gotten there" yet -- only to realize they actually have done it pretty well， that life and hitting traditional milestones is rarely a straight line， they are only comparing their bumps in the road to someone else's social media feed， nobody really feels they have it figured out， and they wer This book is aimed at a very niche group -- women privileged enough to think that they should have accomplished so much more （socially and professionally） than they have and wondering why they haven't quite "gotten there" yet -- only to realize they actually have done it pretty well， that life and hitting traditional milestones is rarely a straight line， they are only comparing their bumps in the road to someone else's social media feed， nobody really feels they have it figured out， and they were probably right where they should be all along。 Luckily， I fit squarely into that niche， so this book very much spoke to me。 As a fellow "late bloomer，" I feel seen。 。。。more
Mara
，
The title is by far the best part of this book。 I found myself constantly waiting to be wooed with a gem of humor or insight that just never came。
7KLG3
，
Couldn't finish this book as I struggled to care about the narrative & the pacing was off。 The author wasn't so much a late bloomer as opposed to someone chose to pursue higher education and then focused on her career for a while。 Potentially groundbreaking/radical/interesting choices in 1970， but in 2021 this feels perfectly normal。 Couldn't finish this book as I struggled to care about the narrative & the pacing was off。 The author wasn't so much a late bloomer as opposed to someone chose to pursue higher education and then focused on her career for a while。 Potentially groundbreaking/radical/interesting choices in 1970， but in 2021 this feels perfectly normal。 。。。more
Sara Goldenberg
，
Very well written and covers a ton of ground！
Nicole
，
I enjoyed the first half of this book。 As a similarly-aged late bloomer who spent the same years in the same city as the author， it really resonated。 Unfortunately， at the midway point this became an entirely ordinary memoir of fertility and pregnancy struggles that disappointed me greatly。 Just once I’d like to read something that doesn’t reinforce societal expectations。
Kim
，
Because I have friends going through infertility right now， let me say that this book is not for you。This was a fascinating glimpse into the world of NYC media， which I have long been curious about。 I very much enjoyed the coming-of-age part of this book。 I really saw myself in Doree’s experience as a late bloomer。 It’s a great book。 I could have done with a little less of the infertility part， but that’s just me。
Erin
，
the writing wasn't anything special。 and nor was the story/concept of memoir。 very average！ the writing wasn't anything special。 and nor was the story/concept of memoir。 very average！ 。。。more
Lauren
，
I had a real love/hate relationship with this book and I'm having kind of a hard time articulating why。。。I guess because the premise is about being a late-bloomer which I read as not conforming to the standards/goalposts set out for women but was really all about timeline。 The author does end up marrying a man， having a baby， and has a series of "dream" media jobs all without a significant period of unemployment; husband and baby don't happen until 38 and 41 respectively， but I feel like nowaday I had a real love/hate relationship with this book and I'm having kind of a hard time articulating why。。。I guess because the premise is about being a late-bloomer which I read as not conforming to the standards/goalposts set out for women but was really all about timeline。 The author does end up marrying a man， having a baby， and has a series of "dream" media jobs all without a significant period of unemployment; husband and baby don't happen until 38 and 41 respectively， but I feel like nowadays that isn't THAT unusual that a whole book needed to be written about that experience。 Idk， I just would rather read a whole book about a woman who stays single or doesn't have kids， because as a single woman in her 30s that's what I feel like is constantly under societal scrutiny， making the choice to totally remove yourself from the marriage-baby expectation pipeline。 At the same time， there were things in here that made me be like YES SAY IT LOUDER since a lot of this was identifiable as a woman in my 30s。 It was interesting hearing about her IVF journey with pregnancy but 2/3rds of the book is spent on her dating life which just didn't really interest me。 I don't know， I can see how this would have worked better in short-form or in her podcast format。 。。。more
Elizabeth
，
I wanted to like this book so much and hoped to relate to it， but struggled to empathize。 I couldn’t finish it， and may return to it another time。
Sarah Sullivan
，
As a late bloomer myself I found a lot to resonate with and appreciate in this book
Elizabeth
，